Sometimes I feel this yearning for something I can’t quite define… It’s a shadow feeling of something I used to know, but can’t quite remember.
My husband and I were taking a hike (one of my favorite pastimes!). As we walked along, we passed a lush green field spotted everywhere with yellow dandelion flowers. Instantly, I grabbed one, and an old childhood rhyme came flooding back to me…”Momma had a baby, and its head popped off…” (don’t teach this one to your kids - I grew up in public school in the ‘70s!) and I playfully flicked the yellow blossom’s head with my thumb and sent it sailing toward my husband. I reached down and grabbed a handful of the long-stemmed fuzzy beauties and began to braid them into a new adornment for my hair as we continued our walk.
It suddenly hit me–no one plays with dandelions anymore! And if I’m honest, neither did I. Not really. Not for a long time. Somewhere between lesson plans, transcripts, and keeping everyone on schedule, I had forgotten how. The memories of sitting outside surrounded by natural beauty and being entertained by the simple act of plucking dandelions and marveling at them has almost disappeared from our over-scheduled, over-stimulated, over-hurried, over-burdened lives! I have a deep yearning to return to a simpler time, don’t you?
Can we undo this frenzied pace and intentionally slow down to play with the dandelions again? Oh, I hear your objections (because they echo at times in my heart too) – What if my children aren’t prepared? What if they don’t learn all that they need to get scholarships or go to college? What if they are “behind”? (That’s a whole new post!) What if I fail them? (Do you sometimes feel it all depends on you?) Those questions weren’t really about my children. They were about me. About my fear. About my need to prove I was doing this right. So, we would pick up the pace and kept pressing forward.
Stop for a minute– does this sound like the Lord’s voice to you? The the still small voice that tells you “His yoke is easy and His burden is light?” I can imagine that Jesus probably played with dandelions– flicking them playfully at his disciples or tucking one behind his ear to display it in all its buttery yellow glory. I doubt He was worried that his disciples wouldn’t get high enough scores on any standardized tests or win coveted free rides to prestigious colleges. I’m sure He didn’t compare them to other saints and worry that they were “behind”. I know He knew that He would never fail them, or leave them behind.
Can we really be bold enough to step off this hurried path and take the more scenic route with our family? I think we can intentionally chose to hit the brakes, really we can– we are in the driver’s seat! Here are a few changes our family has made to slow down and enjoy the journey:
WE TOSSED OUT TESTS AND ARBITRARY MEASUREMENTS AND TRADED THEM FOR TIME SPENT DISCUSSING WHAT WE WERE LEARNING AND FINDING FASCINATING.
So much of my early homeschool journey consisted of making sure we were not “missing anything”. I was constantly on the lookout for the perfect curriculum– the one that would ensure that my children didn’t have gaps and could test their way into success. We were moderately successful at being great test-takers but not necessarily great at discovering what we found fascinating or interesting. I realized that this path leads to a somewhat flat and one-dimensional sort of learning. We knew facts, we could exercise our memories, and we could enjoy the small rewards of good grades. But, we didn’t have time to really think and dream and connect to what we were learning–especially as we sped through high school.
Lately, we have enjoyed a slower pace for our learning. Yes, even with high schoolers (I have 2 of the OG left - all in high school). I have ruthlessly eliminated many “good” pursuits, like dual college credit and ACT/SAT testing, and intentionally focused on less academics. As I loosened my grip on transcripts and test scores, I felt something loosen in me too. I began to trust them more — and I began to trust the Lord more. I have even enlisted my children in choosing subjects they want to learn about. (Of course, I’m too much of a control freak to let them skip essentials like science and math!)
Instead of proving that they could memorize, I’ve spent time discussing what they have discovered. The results have been refreshing! I’m seeing them start to make meaningful connections, and offer creative insights. Their learning has become much more dimensional as the measurement tools have changed.
WE DITCHED THE ENDLESS OPTIONS OF OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES AND PUT PRIORITY ON FAMILY ACTIVITIES.
This was a hard one to give up. Outside activities are good, right? Socialization is necessary, right? I had to confront something uncomfortable: I liked being busy. Busy made me feel productive. Important. Successful. Slowing down exposed the quiet places in my heart I had been avoiding.
We used to have an overfull schedule with kids being carted off to activities every night of the week. Dinner was always an on-the-go affair, and evenings home together a rare event.
Our new schedule is quite different! Dinners at home, together, around the table, are more the norm. Our calendar usually has activities that are shared with multiple members of the family. The conversations at dinner and the shared experiences are creating a positive socialization that far outweighs our old way!
Time is precious, don’t be quick to sacrifice it.
WE REVISED OUR BUDGET AND PRIORITIZED OUR SPENDING FOR THINGS THAT BRING OUR FAMILY TOGETHER.
I’m about to get a bit personal here if you don’t mind. Our spending habits were contributing to our hurry and disconnection. We were investing in outside activities, the perfect curriculum, and the bells and whistles of keeping up with others.
Once we started making intentional decisions to simplify, we actually had more money to invest in things that moved us toward our goals. Take a hard look at where you are spending your money. A quick glance at ours let me know that streaming services were eating up a huge amount every month. Eating out and convenience-style cooking were also adding up. Kids’ activities carried a hefty price tag as well. And, we don’t even want to talk about the curriculum costs incurred while searching out the best and most promising. Simplifying our spending forced me to admit that sometimes I was buying convenience because I was too tired to say no. Or too hurried to sit still. Reordering our budget reordered my heart.
Remember, I said you are sitting in the driver’s seat? Push the financial brakes.
Disconnect a streaming service (or two) and pick up a book to read aloud together instead. You’ll be making family memories, encouraging imagination and I promise you’ll love it!
Start making dinner together–you’ll save money and teach them important skills they will enjoy for the rest of their lives.
Selectively choose the outside activities, and invest in things that bring your favorite people home. For us, it was skipping some much-wanted home updates to invest in an awesome deck for our above-ground pool, with the added benefit of acquiring some much-needed practical building skills!
I can’t tell you exactly what your priorities need to be. But I’m encouraging you to take an honest look and make bold moves. You won’t regret it!
With the ever-increasing pace of life right speeding past our doors, let’s be the kind of people who stop to play with dandelions and have our homes be places filled with rest and peace.
I thought I was raising children who needed less hurry. Instead, the Lord was raising a mother who needed more rest.
I thought I was teaching them how to live deliberately. He was teaching me how to breathe again.
Raising them… was remaking me.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Blessings,
Renita
Sometimes I feel this yearning for something I can’t quite define… It’s a shadow feeling of something I used to know, but can’t quite remember.
My husband and I were taking a hike (one of my favorite pastimes!). As we walked along, we passed a lush green field spotted everywhere with yellow dandelion flowers. Instantly, I grabbed one, and an old childhood rhyme came flooding back to me…”Momma had a baby, and its head popped off…” (don’t teach this one to your kids - I grew up in public school in the ‘70s!) and I playfully flicked the yellow blossom’s head with my thumb and sent it sailing toward my husband. I reached down and grabbed a handful of the long-stemmed fuzzy beauties and began to braid them into a new adornment for my hair as we continued our walk.
It suddenly hit me–no one plays with dandelions anymore! And if I’m honest, neither did I. Not really. Not for a long time. Somewhere between lesson plans, transcripts, and keeping everyone on schedule, I had forgotten how. The memories of sitting outside surrounded by natural beauty and being entertained by the simple act of plucking dandelions and marveling at them has almost disappeared from our over-scheduled, over-stimulated, over-hurried, over-burdened lives! I have a deep yearning to return to a simpler time, don’t you?
Can we undo this frenzied pace and intentionally slow down to play with the dandelions again? Oh, I hear your objections (because they echo at times in my heart too) – What if my children aren’t prepared? What if they don’t learn all that they need to get scholarships or go to college? What if they are “behind”? (That’s a whole new post!) What if I fail them? (Do you sometimes feel it all depends on you?) Those questions weren’t really about my children. They were about me. About my fear. About my need to prove I was doing this right. So, we would pick up the pace and kept pressing forward.
Stop for a minute– does this sound like the Lord’s voice to you? The the still small voice that tells you “His yoke is easy and His burden is light?” I can imagine that Jesus probably played with dandelions– flicking them playfully at his disciples or tucking one behind his ear to display it in all its buttery yellow glory. I doubt He was worried that his disciples wouldn’t get high enough scores on any standardized tests or win coveted free rides to prestigious colleges. I’m sure He didn’t compare them to other saints and worry that they were “behind”. I know He knew that He would never fail them, or leave them behind.
Can we really be bold enough to step off this hurried path and take the more scenic route with our family? I think we can intentionally chose to hit the brakes, really we can– we are in the driver’s seat! Here are a few changes our family has made to slow down and enjoy the journey:
WE TOSSED OUT TESTS AND ARBITRARY MEASUREMENTS AND TRADED THEM FOR TIME SPENT DISCUSSING WHAT WE WERE LEARNING AND FINDING FASCINATING.
So much of my early homeschool journey consisted of making sure we were not “missing anything”. I was constantly on the lookout for the perfect curriculum– the one that would ensure that my children didn’t have gaps and could test their way into success. We were moderately successful at being great test-takers but not necessarily great at discovering what we found fascinating or interesting. I realized that this path leads to a somewhat flat and one-dimensional sort of learning. We knew facts, we could exercise our memories, and we could enjoy the small rewards of good grades. But, we didn’t have time to really think and dream and connect to what we were learning–especially as we sped through high school.
Lately, we have enjoyed a slower pace for our learning. Yes, even with high schoolers (I have 2 of the OG left - all in high school). I have ruthlessly eliminated many “good” pursuits, like dual college credit and ACT/SAT testing, and intentionally focused on less academics. As I loosened my grip on transcripts and test scores, I felt something loosen in me too. I began to trust them more — and I began to trust the Lord more. I have even enlisted my children in choosing subjects they want to learn about. (Of course, I’m too much of a control freak to let them skip essentials like science and math!)
Instead of proving that they could memorize, I’ve spent time discussing what they have discovered. The results have been refreshing! I’m seeing them start to make meaningful connections, and offer creative insights. Their learning has become much more dimensional as the measurement tools have changed.
WE DITCHED THE ENDLESS OPTIONS OF OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES AND PUT PRIORITY ON FAMILY ACTIVITIES.
This was a hard one to give up. Outside activities are good, right? Socialization is necessary, right? I had to confront something uncomfortable: I liked being busy. Busy made me feel productive. Important. Successful. Slowing down exposed the quiet places in my heart I had been avoiding.
We used to have an overfull schedule with kids being carted off to activities every night of the week. Dinner was always an on-the-go affair, and evenings home together a rare event.
Our new schedule is quite different! Dinners at home, together, around the table, are more the norm. Our calendar usually has activities that are shared with multiple members of the family. The conversations at dinner and the shared experiences are creating a positive socialization that far outweighs our old way!
Time is precious, don’t be quick to sacrifice it.
WE REVISED OUR BUDGET AND PRIORITIZED OUR SPENDING FOR THINGS THAT BRING OUR FAMILY TOGETHER.
I’m about to get a bit personal here if you don’t mind. Our spending habits were contributing to our hurry and disconnection. We were investing in outside activities, the perfect curriculum, and the bells and whistles of keeping up with others.
Once we started making intentional decisions to simplify, we actually had more money to invest in things that moved us toward our goals. Take a hard look at where you are spending your money. A quick glance at ours let me know that streaming services were eating up a huge amount every month. Eating out and convenience-style cooking were also adding up. Kids’ activities carried a hefty price tag as well. And, we don’t even want to talk about the curriculum costs incurred while searching out the best and most promising. Simplifying our spending forced me to admit that sometimes I was buying convenience because I was too tired to say no. Or too hurried to sit still. Reordering our budget reordered my heart.
Remember, I said you are sitting in the driver’s seat? Push the financial brakes.
Disconnect a streaming service (or two) and pick up a book to read aloud together instead. You’ll be making family memories, encouraging imagination and I promise you’ll love it!
Start making dinner together–you’ll save money and teach them important skills they will enjoy for the rest of their lives.
Selectively choose the outside activities, and invest in things that bring your favorite people home. For us, it was skipping some much-wanted home updates to invest in an awesome deck for our above-ground pool, with the added benefit of acquiring some much-needed practical building skills!
I can’t tell you exactly what your priorities need to be. But I’m encouraging you to take an honest look and make bold moves. You won’t regret it!
With the ever-increasing pace of life right speeding past our doors, let’s be the kind of people who stop to play with dandelions and have our homes be places filled with rest and peace.
I thought I was raising children who needed less hurry. Instead, the Lord was raising a mother who needed more rest.
I thought I was teaching them how to live deliberately. He was teaching me how to breathe again.
Raising them… was remaking me.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Blessings,
Renita
