Make Life-Changing Memories

Make Life-Changing Memories

I had a realization as I was angrily (yes…I mean like mad) cleaning my kitchen grout (yes… I can be like that sometimes) that the memories my children were making were of me being angry while cleaning, and not the sweet memories I dreamed of.  You know… the memories we make up of all the children sitting quietly around our rocking chair, hanging on our every word as we read aloud quality classic literature and train their hearts for eternity.  Nope… my kids were running for cover as I furiously threw the toys out of the “toy closet” and had emotional breakdowns over the dirt in our grouted tile counters.  What do we want our children to remember years from now?  I remember long ago hearing a speaker tell us we should “begin with the end in mind”.  

So, I made an intentional vow to try harder, do better and make sweeter memories for them to carry into their adulthood.  I failed. Over and over.  BUT, I kept trying!  Let me encourage you - don’t give up on this quest, just keep getting back up and trying again.

Today, four of my children have flown the nest, and 4-6 more are still in it, depending on the day, eating everything in sight (yes, they do tend to come back). And, I’ve learned a few lessons along the way.

One big lesson that keeps coming back is that the memories of the ordinary daily moments we share matter more than we realize.  Here’s a challenge that helped me: Put away the cleaning supplies and let go of some of those perfectionist ideals.  Instead, just plop down on the couch together (ignore the mess), pull out your Bibles and teach them all the cool tools a Study Bible has to offer and actually have them take turns reading it aloud.  It changes the atmosphere of your home… really.  While you’re at it, pick a fun book to read aloud together, and add some snacks from exotic locations (go shop in the back aisles of your grocery store, or order a subscription snack box) and just be present with them in the moment. 

The Gift of Being Necessary 

 

There’s more; Give your children the gift of being necessary.

We all need to be needed.  Instead of doing everything for them, hand them the responsibility of becoming a necessary part of making your family run smoothly.  Go beyond the low expectations of the usual chores of taking care of just themselves. Let them participate in the privilege of taking care of everyone. 

One way we do this is by rotating who plans and makes dinner every night and having real, meaningful responsibilities to keep our household running smoothly.  It’s a wonderful way to end the day, with your family around the table eating food made by their siblings. (And yes, I mean actually sit down and eat off real plates!) An unexpected bonus; you get some more free time in your schedule too! Come prepared with questions or comments to get discussion going.  It’s as easy as “What was a high/low of your day?” or  “What did you like about…” You’ll be surprised by what comes out when you slow down a little.

Go Big In Celebrating Them

Everyone needs it!

When it comes to celebrating each other, I’m not talking about cheering them on in every activity you can sign them up for…and drive them to…and pay for. That leads to exhaustion. I’m talking about making family celebrations into memories they can carry with them.  

For instance, long ago, I got frustrated with the endless purchases of impersonal greeting cards.  They never say what I want them to, and they cost a fortune – only to be thrown away.  So,  the “Birthday Journal” was born.  Each member of our family has a journal, and on their birthday - we celebrate them by writing to them in it and reading aloud to them what we wrote.  These journals are a precious memory–and a record of their lives, and how much they are loved.  The birthday journals would be the first thing I would grab if we had a house fire!

Life-Style Lessons

Currently, our “book-style” lessons are secondary to our “life-style” lessons.  We are learning new ways of connecting and loving the people around us–together.  We are learning new skills as we complete a family building project.  We are learning new business strategies as we expand our family businesses and add a short-term rental to our repertoire (anyone want to visit sunny SoCal… I know a place 😁).  We have intentionally included everyone in our endeavors–and believe me, there are memories being made that will serve them well into their futures!

Quests for Adventure

Out with boring living!

Don’t miss the chance to do something out-of-your-ordinary!  Field trips are my favorite - when was the last time you took one? (They are not for just for the littles, either!) Nothing beats ditching the lesson plan for the day, and heading to the zoo with your high schoolers to marvel at the creativity of our God.  How about a hike? Make it even more adventurous by jumping in the stream (bonus points if you are fully clothed!) Can’t afford a trip?…make up an adventure.  Just getting outside is almost an immediate adventure.  

Create a challenge for them– it can be as simple as finding new flowers or leaves, or as thrilling as finding a new trail or building a make-shift raft to float down a river. Pack a lunch, a blanket and eat your picnic together: Memories are being made!

Stick Together 

It seems like our society pushes us to be independent, the sooner the better. But, is that really what works best? Is that what we should be striving for?  We have discovered the great joy of being together, all ages.  I encourage you to really think this one through… What is the end you have in mind?  

There has been a supreme delight in providing a safe place for our  post-high school young adult children to stretch their wings, before they fly the nest.   Don’t be afraid to swim against the stream in this and encourage your children to stick around longer.  Trust me, they have many more lessons to learn before they go, and you have many more memories to make together!

I guess all of this can be summed up by –Be intentional! Be willing to get off the well-worn, familiar path.  You are divinely assigned this task of passing on your faith and heritage to your children, so they will pass it on to future generations. It’s an ongoing, ever-rewarding privilege that the Lord promises to give you the strength and wisdom to complete. You are building a bridge from one generation to the next. 

Never give up.  Make all the life-changing memories God has for you!

 

Blessings,

Renita

“We will not hide these truths from our children;
    we will tell the next generation
about the glorious deeds of the Lord,
    about His power and His mighty wonders.” 

Psalm 78:4