What Will They Remember?

What Will They Remember?

I had a realization one day while furiously scrubbing my kitchen grout. (Yes… I mean furiously. I can be like that sometimes.)

The memories my children were making were of me being angry while cleaning—not the sweet memories I dreamed of.  You know the ones… the memories we imagine where all the children sit quietly around the rocking chair, hanging on our every word as we read aloud classic literature and train their hearts for eternity.  Nope… my kids were running for cover as I furiously threw the toys out of the “toy closet” and had emotional breakdowns over the dirt in our grouted tile counters.  

What do we want our children to remember years from now? I wanted my children to remember warmth, laughter, Scripture, and presence. Not a mother unraveling over tile counters. In that moment I realized I was cleaning my counters more carefully than I was tending the atmosphere of my home.

I thought I was building a beautiful life for my children, but my anger was revealing the places in me that still needed God’s gentler work.

So I made an intentional vow to try harder, do better, and create sweeter memories for them to carry into adulthood. I failed. Over and over.  BUT, I kept trying!  Let me encourage you - don’t give up on this quest, just keep getting back up and trying again.

Today, four of my children have flown the nest, and four to six more are still in it—depending on the day—eating everything in sight. (Yes, they do tend to come back). And, I’ve learned a few lessons along the way.

One big lesson that keeps coming back is that the memories of the ordinary daily moments we share matter more than we realize.  Here’s a challenge that helped me: Put away the cleaning supplies and let go of some of those perfectionist ideals.  Instead, just plop down on the couch together (ignore the mess), pull out your Bibles and show them all the cool tools a Study Bible has to offer and have them take turns reading it aloud.  It changes the atmosphere of your home… really.  While you’re at it, pick a fun book to read aloud together, and add some snacks from exotic locations 

(shop in the back aisles of your grocery store, or order a subscription snack box) and just be present with them in the moment. 

Go Big In Celebrating Them

When it comes to celebrating each other, I’m not talking about cheering them on in every activity you can sign them up for…and drive them to…and pay for. That leads to exhaustion. I’m talking about making family celebrations into memories they can carry with them.  

For instance, long ago, I got frustrated with the endless purchases of impersonal greeting cards.  They never say what I want them to, and they cost a fortune – only to be thrown away.  So,  the “Birthday Journal” was born.  Each member of our family has a journal, and on their birthday - we celebrate them by writing to them in it and reading aloud to them what we wrote over a special breakfast.  These journals are a precious memory–and a record of their lives, and how much they are loved.  The birthday journals would be the first thing I would grab if we had a house fire!

Quests for Adventure

Don’t miss the chance to do something out-of-your-ordinary!  Field trips are my favorite—when was the last time you took one? (They’re not just for the littles, either.) Nothing beats ditching the lesson plan for the day, and heading to the zoo with your high schoolers to marvel at the creativity of our God.  How about a hike? Make it even more adventurous by jumping in the stream (bonus points if you are fully clothed!) Can’t afford a trip?…make up an adventure.  Just getting outside is almost an immediate adventure.  

Create a challenge for them– it can be as simple as finding new flowers or leaves, or as thrilling as finding a new trail or building a make-shift raft to float down a river. Pack a lunch, a blanket and eat your picnic together: Adventure has a way of stitching itself into family memory.

I suppose all of this can be summed up in two words: Be intentional. Be willing to step off the well-worn path.

You have been divinely assigned the task of passing your faith and heritage to your children so they can carry it to the next generation. You are building a bridge from one generation to the next.

Never give up.

Make all the life-changing memories God has waiting for you.

 

Blessings,

Renita

“We will not hide these truths from our children;
    we will tell the next generation
about the glorious deeds of the Lord,
    about His power and His mighty wonders.” 

Psalm 78:4