Closing the Escape Hatch!

When our children began approaching high school, a new question quietly crept into my mind.

Is homeschooling high school really worth it?
Will I really be able to teach them everything they need to know?

After walking through these years myself, I can answer that question with confidence.

Yes. Absolutely yes.

When we first began homeschooling twenty plus years ago, I never imagined we would actually graduate our children. At the time it felt more like an experiment. We took it “one year at a time,” waiting to see how things would unfold.

But somewhere around sixth or seventh grade with my oldest, I heard a homeschool speaker say something that changed my thinking completely.

He said homeschool parents need to “close the escape hatch.”

Instead of treating homeschooling like a temporary experiment, he challenged parents to commit to the long-term vision all the way to graduation.

That moment shifted something in me.

I stopped thinking “one year at a time” and started picturing graduation day.

I am so thankful we did.

Today we have graduated seven of our eight children, and I wouldn’t change a thing. All went on to attend the colleges of their choosing with generous scholarships and pursue their dreams and ambitions. But surprisingly, that isn’t the main reason I’m grateful we stayed the course.

The real gift of homeschooling through high school is something much deeper.

By the time your children reach these years, you’ve already done the hardest work — the long days of teaching them to read, drilling multiplication tables, and navigating the confusing maze of English grammar. High school is our last chance with them. These four short years are the prime time to press in, and really help them know and understand the Bible, to study Apologetics together (the reasons to believe the Christian faith), practice Communication skills (like writing and speaking) and open their eyes to the wonder of Creation through Science all around them! It was tempting to fall prey to the fear of them missing out, my own insecurities, or the anxiety of comparison during these teen years. But I decided to  “close the escape hatch” and really go for it! 

Why quit just when school finally starts getting interesting?

But even more than the academics, something else happened during these years.

I got to see who they are becoming.

High schoolers can certainly be messy, loud, and occasionally careless — but they are also fascinating young adults filled with energy, creativity, and ideas about the future. Watching them grow into the people God designed them to be is one of the greatest privileges of these years. They are the businesspeople, doctors and nurses, craftspeople, and law makers for the next generation - and I have been given a gift of being the most powerful impact on them now! 

I often think about Esther from the Bible.

Her courage to stand before the king didn’t appear out of nowhere. It was built over years of quiet influence from her cousin Mordecai. I imagine long conversations, encouragement, and reminders of who she truly was in God’s eyes.

Those unseen years prepared her for the moment when everything mattered.

The same is true for my children.

These high school years are the final season I have to pour deeply into their hearts before they step out into the world on their own.

And something else happened during those years that I didn’t expect. While I thought I was preparing them for their future…

God was still shaping mine.

I was raising them.

And all along,

He was remaking me.

Blessings,

Renita

Go Curriculum Commando!

It’s that time of year… the time when it’s way more enjoyable to look at all those sparkly, shiny NEW curriculum catalogs than to slog on through this year’s lesson plans to the blessed last-day-of-school finish line! 

Hello, my name is Renita, and I am a curriculum addict. I’ve been powerless over my addiction since the beginning of my homeschool journey. My poor children were subjected to continual curriculum testings and changes. I loved trying out all those educational promises so much that I wrote homeschool curriculum reviews for 12 years just to have an ongoing “fix” of new curriculum!


Those years of homeschooling, with the inflow of every type of curriculum imaginable, have given me some specialized training, insight and discernment. I have learned, with first-hand experience, what works and what doesn’t… for MY kiddos! That’s the catch, you will only need to know what works for the beautiful souls that the Lord has placed in your squadron for YOU to educate. You won’t need to know the BEST curriculum; you’ll only need the BEST curriculum for YOUR family.


It’s time for you to become a “Curriculum Commando”! Everyone tells you “Enjoy these years, they go by so fast…” I know it’s hard to believe when it feels like you’ve been teaching the same math lessons, spelling lists, and grammar rules for what seems like a decade. BUT it is true - you only have a short time with them to teach and train them in all they need to know. And, that’s why you need to have determination to accomplish your goals, courage to go your own way, an unselfish attitude, and a cheery smile in the face of adversity.


A Curriculum Commando needs to determination to accomplish the main objective. This is where many of us may falter. Do we know WHAT our children need to know in order to succeed in the mission the Lord has for them? We search frantically for the “perfect curriculum” that will meet all their needs and make sure there are no gaps. But truth is - there isn’t ONE WAY. There is only God’s plan for your child. You need to seek out the battle plan from your commander - FIRST. Then, keep your main objective in the forefront as you create your daily lesson plans.


Curriculum Commandos need courage. Just because your homeschool friends are all following a certain path, does NOT mean that path is right for you. Just because Susie is learning Latin and Jimmy can do trigonometry in 3rd grade, doesn’t mean that YOUR children need to do those subjects. Have the courage to say NO - even to the good things to make room for the great things God has in store for them. Have courage to refuse to fear “gaps” in their education. By the way, we all have gaps in our educations - shhh… don’t tell anyone, I have a college degree and I have NEVER taken a Physics class! (Funny... I help write science curriculum with my husband) Have the courage to customize, or even walk away from anything that doesn’t help accomplish your mission.


Are you willing to take the unselfish route? A Commando has to put aside their own desires and focus on the target. This is getting personal, but oftentimes I chose a certain curriculum or class to help make ME feel better about homeschooling. Can I be honest for a moment, the curriculum you choose is NOT about you. Have you considered your student’s learning style over your teaching style? Are you selfishly wanting them to succeed so that you feel like you have succeeded? Examine your motivations. The homeschooling path was all new to me, I went to public school, homeschooling wasn’t even legal in most states. SO, I really wanted to prove I could do this! But that’s not what the target is… the target is to help them become who God designed them to be. That means I need to have an unselfish approach that focuses on THEM and not ME!


Finally, Curriculum Commandos know that they are in charge, and they set the tone for their squadron. A cheerful attitude goes a long way to making this operation a memorable one! Can you smile and laugh at the future? Look for ways to bring joy into subjects and make learning together a delight! As I reflect over the past 20 years of homeschooling, it’s the joy and laughter that I remember most. The times we veered off the lesson plan and read all afternoon on the trampoline or spent time watching the eggs hatch in bird nest under our deck or made crazy projects (I bet there is still paper cache on our ceiling…) or had kitchen adventures trying to make authentic pilgrim meals complete with sour tasting “swill”. All those things brought joy, adventure and smiles into our learning. Make sure to laugh - it makes the journey sweeter!


So, as you search through all those shiny curriculum catalogs this spring, I encourage you to remember you are a “Curriculum Commando” and have a God-given mission to accomplish. You can do it!



Blessings,

Renita

Supersize or Downsize!

In today’s economic uncertainty, we are always looking for ways to save money. This isn’t another post about how to wash and re-use your plastic bags, or creative ways to stretch the food budget, although, those are great ideas.I’m talking about making INTENTIONAL choices to “downsize” your lifestyle and create some margin for better choices. 

Don and I recently made a HUGE family decision that involved downsizing our living space. In today’s world…this is a bit counter-cultural! We sold the 3,600 sq. ft. home and moved the 8 of us (7 of us plus a good friend that lives with us) into a cozy 1,600 sq. ft home. A pretty BIG downsize in personal space!


This downsizing has UPSIZED our budget’s ability to make choices that benefit us with our most valuable resource… our TIME TOGETHER!


Along the journey, plenty of other unexpected benefits have surfaced as well. The sweet sounds of everyone laughing together in the kitchen while making dinner and the cozy evenings spent together in the same room in front of the fireplace playing games. (There is a reassurance and comfort when my people are close by.) The closer living quarters have also become an invitation for everyone to venture more into the great outdoors (for peace and quiet!). And, we have become intentional about what is allowed to occupy our precious space - both physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

I know, not everyone can make such a drastic “downsizing” decision. But, I think we can all take small steps in the right direction. The downsizing concept has really gotten me thinking of what else could benefit from taking an intentional step back, or a step down.


For instance - “Do we really want/need all the entertainment streaming options that have snuck into our family budget?” 

Maybe this could apply to our homeschooling choices too - “Do we really want an overstuffed curriculum package or a time-consuming co-op that dictates how we spend our days?”

What about the family schedule? “Do we want a SUPERSIZED schedule with different activities and outings every evening?” 

Can I encourage you to look into ONE area you could intentionally downsize and give yourself a bit more margin? I’m confident that the Lord has something even better to replace it with.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” James 1:5

Blessings,

Renita

The Children I Almost Didn't Have

I’m so glad I listened to the Lord.

I’m grateful that I chose to trust His promises and welcome the children He gave us. In a culture where it has become increasingly rare to hear someone say, “Go ahead—have more children,” the message around us is often the opposite.

Don’t.
You can’t.
You shouldn’t.

But the Lord speaks differently.

Earlier this week we were walking along a path together. Four of my eight children were walking ahead of me, laughing and talking as we went. I paused for a moment and realized something that took my breath away.

If I had made different choices…none of these children would be here.

None of these personalities.
None of these voices.
None of these stories God is writing.

And my heart filled with gratitude.

The Lord says in Psalm 127:3: “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him.”

A gift.
A reward.

That’s very different from the message our world often sends—that children are mainly a burden or an interruption to our plans.

I didn’t start out as a “mom of many.” (For the record, I have eight children… and Don has eight as well. Yes, that makes sixteen!) I started out as a college-educated, independent woman with a carefully planned future career.

I had my life mapped out.

But the Lord had something better in mind.

He gently interrupted my plans and gave me the desires of my heart before I even understood what those desires truly were. Through the gift of my children, He began reshaping my priorities, my dreams, and even my understanding of what a meaningful life looks like.

God wants to BLESS you with children, they are one of his best gifts. Have you ever told the Lord: 

"Don’t bless me with too much health - how would I handle it all?” 

or 

"

Nope God, that’s plenty of money, I’ve got my hands full!” 

NO way! We ask the Lord to abundantly bless us in so many areas...except by giving us children. 

I’ll be honest—I wrestled with God over this. My thinking had to be completely transformed. But through His Word and the wisdom of godly voices, He began renewing my mind.

And slowly I began to see what He sees.

Children are not a limitation to the life God has for us.

They are one of His greatest blessings.

Looking back now, I see something I couldn’t fully understand at the beginning. I thought I was simply choosing to have children.

But God was doing something much deeper.

I was raising them…

and all along,

He was remaking me.

Blessings,

Renita

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. "

Romans 12:2

Get to Work!

I had my children memorize this poem when they were younger… Now, they are learning to live this poem!  

 

Having your children help you work is a lifetime benefit to them, and to you.  When they were younger, we lived in suburbia, and I had to manufacture “work” for them.  Daily chores, caring for the pets, raking leaves and a small backyard garden were about as strenuous as the work got.  Even those little glimpses of the value of “work” have paid off.  Now, we live on a tree-filled property and the “work” has expanded to include some real bone-tiring tasks.  Having a team is a HUGE blessing, not to mention, all those family memory-making moments we get to experience together, and the satisfaction of seeing a job well done! 

I truly believe God designed us to work, after all, he put Adam and Eve in a garden and gave it to them to tend and provided animals for them to care for.  It’s only after the Fall that work is cursed with “thorns”. 

I believe our children learn valuable life lessons when they get the opportunity to work alongside us.  All that working together also sweetens the playtimes we share together as well.  It’s worth the investment, the lessons learned will stick with them for a lifetime!

It's time to get to work!

Renita

Have Dinner Together Tonight!

 `“All great change in America begins at the dinner table.” - Ronald Reagan

Can I ask… how long has it been since your family sat down all together at the dinner table?  I understand, I have been there myself lately… wondering, when did we stop sitting down together at a table set with dishes, silverware, and food served in bowls waiting to be passed around?  

As a young mother, I was inspired to create a “family table” in my home by a dear mentor and my big oak table is my favorite piece of furniture.  But, somehow amid raising all those children, we moved away from that nightly tradition of eating together; to eating at the counter, grabbing something as we walked out the door to an activity or even eating on the go in the van.  When did this happen?  I’m not really sure…. But, I know now is the TIME to “begin again” and re-establish our family dinners!

Can I encourage you?  TONIGHT- even if you’re “not ready”, teach your child how to set the silverware next to your plates (paper plates work…shhh - don’t tell Don), put all the food (even if it’s frozen pizza) on the table and sit down together to share and eat (even if you are on a tight schedule).  I know it’s more work and takes a little more planning and time.  I promise you, it’s worth your investment!  After just a few short weeks, it has become the part of the day we look forward to the most.  You can even do it when you’re not “at home” any table works - just make sure everyone sits down together.

After just a few evenings, we have seen the fruit of gathering again at our table.  This is the place where our children learn how to interact with others, where they learn to listen and to speak, where they learn values of courtesy and hospitality, where they can serve each other, and beautiful family memories are savored together. 

Our family dinner time is precious, don’t let any insecurities keep you from it - have dinner at the table together tonight!

Blessings,

Renita

No more boring science!

Who says that middle and high school science can't be fun?  Why do we try to stuff their heads with textbook vocabulary, and never allow them to wonder... in wonder?

This is our 2nd year taking a different path in science. And guess what... we are enjoying science again!

This is a simple experiment with a test tube, oil, water, food coloring and alka seltzer. Probably one you did back in preschool...  But - let me tell you from first hand experience - "big kids" are not too BIG for this experiment!

This is our co-op class - made up of middle and high schoolers.  They all enjoyed this demonstration, and we had the chance to discuss some high level science concepts as well.  Concepts like density, diffusion, the chemical properties of carbon dioxide and the polarity of water can be observed, discussed and remembered! Not to mention the mesmerizing effect of watching the bubbles go up and down the tube that you never outgrow...

With a couple of household chemicals - we also taught them how to make some pretty cool "explosions" too! I promise you, we captured their attention - and they will not soon forget this lesson!

My point is... science doesn't have to be boring to be "high school level".  You can still have fun and do hands-on projects, in fact - you SHOULD!