I sat at the table staring at our lesson plans, completely exhausted. The math books were open. The science lesson waited. The checklist for the day still had far too many boxes unchecked. I remember thinking, How did homeschooling become this heavy? As a Christian, I know the verse well: “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” I believe it with my whole heart. But putting it into practice in the middle of daily homeschooling life—especially with high schoolers and three post-graduates still living at home—can feel much harder. What were the things making me feel so weary and burdened?
I began to realize the load I was carrying was heavier than it needed to be. I had picked up things I was never meant to carry. Academic Expectations & Fear I had picked up numerous academic expectations along the homeschooling path about what I “had” to do. You know the ridiculous, but common, expectations that we have to do all the subjects, follow a specific scope and sequence, and excel at everything. These expectations created imagined “requirements” that the invisible they would be looking for on the prized golden transcript—my child’s supposed ticket to success. Algebra. Foreign language. Extracurriculars. Volunteer hours. Tests. College credits. The checklists. (Actually – I kinda hate to admit this, I LOVE a good checklist –what a feeling of accomplishment there is to gleefully check something off! True confession: I may have even, once or twice, written something down just so I could check it off. I think I may be a list-checking addict!) Every box had to be checked. Every standard had to be met. Somewhere along the way, fear had become the driver of our days. The rest of the verse in Matthew 11 intrigued me, “Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me…and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light.” Our school days had become anything but “easy and light.” I realized I needed to learn more from the Lord and to understand better what His easy yoke and light load was for us. What a gift it was to trade all those burdensome expectations and fears in exchange for His light and easy yoke! It brought freedom. It brought peace. It brought us rest. Instead of hurrying through all the things we had to do, we started noticing all the things we get to do. We get to read together.
We get to learn things that fascinate us.
We get to shape our days around the people God entrusted to us. The Lord’s invitation to learn from Him helped me see the freedom He had already given us from those endless demands. I get to set a more relaxed schedule.
We get to skip a difficult lesson and save it for another day when we have more energy.
We get to customize our studies to our unique needs and callings. We get to push the textbook aside sometimes and experience real-life learning together. As I relinquished some of my pseudo-academic expectations for my children, the Lord showed up - as He always does. Instead of a frantic pace created by trying to check all the boxes, I am learning to capture the moments, eliminate the unnecessary, and prioritize what the Lord is showing me to do. Peace-filled days, better real learning, and rest followed. And surprisingly, at least to me, none of my children have stopped learning and growing and excelling. In fact, the Lord provided many opportunities to learn in very creative ways that we had been missing! Comparisons & Lies Along my journey, the weight of comparison started to weigh me down. I’d like to think of myself as strongly independent, my own person who likes to do her own thing. But, comparisons started sneaking into my heart and my home. I would imagine what the “perfect” family looks like, and then look around at what my family looked like and feel discouraged or defeated. I picked up more -–“I’ll try harder - do more” ideas for my schooling, my home, and what I should be doing and weighed myself down to the point of exhaustion believing the lies. I started believing thoughts like these: Maybe I just need a shiny new curriculum.
Maybe joining the right co-op would finally make us love learning.
If I just spend the money and follow someone else’s plan, everything will fall into place.
Surely someone else knows better what my children need. Or maybe the problem was our home. Everyone else’s homes looked perfectly coordinated and peaceful while their children sat eagerly around the fireplace waiting for wisdom to drip from their mother’s lips as they sipped homemade hot chocolate and ate fresh sourdough bread. Meanwhile, my house looked… like a real family lived there. What we needed was a complete reinvention of who we were. Maybe we should sell everything and homeschool from an RV while traveling the country. Maybe we should become someone else entirely. But, the Lord intervened. He said “Come to me… learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Could it really be that easy? He said He will give me the desires of my heart, He will supply all my needs, He has good plans for me, He will give me the strength to do all He has called me to do, and He is enough. All this helped me enormously. I learned to focus daily on Him and those comparisons and lies started to lose their attraction. Refocusing my heart and home on Him gave us all a lighter and far easier yoke to carry. Doing It All & Pride Along with those pesky comparisons, I had picked up habits of doing everything myself. A sort of misplaced pride– thoughts of “It is all my responsibility. If I don’t do it, who will?” and “It rests on me” filled my heavy sack. I discovered something about myself: I am very good at this. I can balance multiple responsibilities at once like a professional plate-spinner. Caring for little ones, running the household, planning meals, shopping, cooking, cleaning…the list goes on and on. I got so efficient and so good at managing everything I barely even noticed that my “little ones” are fully capable of carrying their own loads. Meanwhile, nearly fully-grown adults were living care-free in the shadow of my endless labors. It was time to share some of the fun! Here’s a tip - take a moment, look around your home. What things are you doing that they could be doing? Unload some of that. Let them reap the rewards of learning how to plan, shop, & cook meals for the family (that could be another entire article.) Expect them to take care of the home you share - by cleaning, repairing, and LEARNING how to! This will serve them all of their grown-up lives, and you may have been inadvertently preventing them from doing it, by doing it all yourself. I had taken on the burden of sitting in the driver’s seat of their future. I was the one who worried through the transcript formation (are we doing enough?) and scheduled the tests (and sweated while they took them) and planned the college visits (of course arranging the schedules) and, monitored and compared their progress on all the checklists I could find! Instead, I realized my responsibility was to teach them to learn from the Lord and let them start directing their own path. Could it be possible that you need to do that as well? I needed to stop doing it all for them. I’m not saying to abandon your post as their guide and cheerleader. I’m saying the responsibility for determining their life path ultimately belongs to them and the Lord—not you. Remember, in just a few short years they will no longer be students. They will be adults. Start letting them flex their muscles so that they are strong and wise enough to carry their own loads. Point them in the right direction and cheer them on! All these changes helped me lay down the heavy load I had been carrying and trade it for His lighter, easier yoke. I thought my job was to manage every detail of my children’s education. But slowly, the Lord showed me something else. While I was trying so hard to shape their futures…He was shaping my heart. I was raising them. And all along, He was remaking me. Blessings, Renita “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30 | 
