Silence the Critics

 

Critics From the Cheap Seats

 

What do you say to the critics? You know them… those loud voices telling you that what you SHOULD or SHOULDN’T be doing in your parenting and homeschooling (and frequently other areas of your life).  

 

I have found these voices are often loudest from the “cheap seats”; those who were neither homeschooled, or are not homeschooling.  They like to shout out directions like arm-chair quarterbacks calling all the “plays” and moves that you SHOULD be making, while you are the one on the field playing your heart out and taking the all the hits.  These well-meaning voices never seem to end as they shout –“They better be reading by Kindergarten”– “Make sure they learn how to socialize” -–“Better join a co-op” – “Make sure they do Algebra & Physics”  “How do you expect to get them into college?”

 

But there’s another critic that’s even harder for me to ignore… the quieter, ever-present voice inside of me. This one is brutally honest and constantly whispers my secret fears … “You’re not qualified for this… You never even took Physics…You loved the socializing… and you turned out ‘just fine” …You are not enough–you’ll fail them!”  This critic is my worst enemy.

 

Dear parent: God has given you a task to do, and in His grace, He will give you EVERYTHING you need to accomplish it.  But we are going to have to put the critics on mute, stomp out all those “should do” flaming arrows, put our blinders on, and go for it!  

 

This path required me to depend, not on myself and my understanding, but only on the Lord.  I couldn’t fake it for long… my true motivations and intentions came out front-and center in the refining “fire” of days spent at home with my children. My own desire of trying be “good enough” or worse, my expectations that my children would validate my efforts and abilities.  My pride in “checking all the boxes” and seeing my children as shiny little “homeschool trophies” that was really only a form of idolatry.  And one of the hardest maybe, was the sting of my own shortcomings, my selfish desires for more “me-time” and the sometimes-hard-to-admit, streaks of my own laziness. Homeschooling has been a humbling task but, an ever-rewarding endeavor - not one to be undertaken lightly. Nothing can bring my heart to the surface faster than these little people. They can bring me to tears of joy one minute and throw a wrench into my plans like they are professional mechanics the next. They can set my emotions ablaze with just a single carefully worded match.  This daily dying to myself brings the Lord’s resurrection power into my days!

 

And time flies, too. One minute I was happily sipping hot chocolate with them while teaching them to read and the next minute, I am white-knuckling my car door’s handle while sitting shotgun as I teach them to drive.  It’s a wild ride! This ride will often require us to simply close our eyes and be willing to listen ONLY to the Lord’s voice.  He’s right there with us. He will lead us along the path we do not know.  We can trust Him. The time goes so very fast; treasure every moment.

 

So, tell your critics (even that one inside) to sit down and be quiet!  Then “suit up” (time alone with the Lord works wonders) and get back on the field. We are in this game for His approval alone, an audience of only one, He and He alone!  All of Heaven is cheering us on!

 

Blessings,

Renita

 

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow Me.” - John 10:27

 

They Got It...Right

 

Our teenagers “got it” right?  After all, we mastered Awana (Cubbies to T&T with the Timothy Award to show for it!).  We took them to church, each and every week.  We even hosted the Bible Bee competition and spent our summer breaks with scripture memory and in-depth inductive Bible study around family bonfires. We started out of the gate running this faith race strong.  Certainly, all our efforts resulted in success. So… they got it, right?  They got our faith…they must have.  We did all the “right” things, right?! I’m learning this lesson over and over myself.  Our children run their own race to a living relationship with the Lord.  Yes, God gives us an important role to play. We get to set a spiritual table before them and invite them to the feast.  We carry the responsibilities as parents to raise them in the “fear and admonition of the Lord”.  But, as a preacher once said, “God has no grandchildren”. OUR faith is not enough to pass the baton of faith to them and give them THEIR faith. Homeschooling is not enough to assure them their faith either.  Sure, it’s a wonderful way to create a greenhouse like environment for their faith to germinate in, and a safe place for tender plants to begin to grow.  Really, I don’t believe there is any better way!  I want to encourage you - don’t stop tending those tender shoots yet.  Don’t make any assumptions that “they got it” - just because you did all the right things in their younger years.  They may have prayed a salvation prayer, or won all the scripture memory awards, or came home from summer camp still damp-headed from a lake baptism.  Don’t stop daily discipling them!  Let me go a step further, I believe that the high school years are the prime time for them to BEGIN to make faith their own.  Yep, I said “begin”.  This is the time when they are developmentally able to make these types of life influencing decisions.  I rejoiced with each step toward God that my young children took.  But it’s when they started taking those faltering first steps into adulthood that I could begin to really see if they “got it”. These years are when they are moving “from innocence to holiness”, a phrase my husband has coined.  They are transitioning from knowing “Jesus Loves Me” and the simple faith of a child to “Yes, I know” and the life-altering decisions that accompany maturity.  It’s a vital stage in the development of their faith.  It’s when we begin to see the fruit of a living relationship with the almighty God.  And, as much as we would love to be able to, it’s not something we can manufacture.  We can only be their coaches and cheerleaders in this race as they run it. Too often, we let the “more important” subjects cut in and take precedence over our intentional faith developing studies when our students get to high school age. We comfort ourselves with thoughts “they got it”, right? The rigors of upper-level classes frequently move their daily quiet-times and intentional Bible studies to a back burner.  Do not give up!  Keep setting the spiritual table before them. This means keep prioritizing the Word in your school schedule and in your daily routines.  Keep on doing it alongside them until you witness them doing it alone - and then, keep studying the Bible together (It will be one of your greatest joys!).  Take it a step further, and make the focus on worldview, apologetics, and scripture memory take precedence over “lesser subjects” like geometry, physics, and dual credit.  Don’t miss these final years with your children to make an eternal impact! Oh…one more thing.  Our teenagers are masters at manipulation, and they can spot a counterfeit a mile away. So, if you are not practicing what you preach - you’re busted.  Take the time to model for them what this living, breathing, active and powerful faith looks like.  Make sure they see the priority the Word takes in your life and decisions you make.  Then, never stop praying and interceding for them as they run their race! Blessings, Renita “You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?” - Galatians 5:7

Your Homeschool Table – What are you Serving?

Homeschooling can be a bit like planning the menu and setting a table before our families. We all have a deep desire to make it an appealing, nutritious, and satisfying meal that EVERYONE will enjoy.

I may need to remind you, not everyone at your table likes the same things…. I know it’s almost comical to say it. OF course, they don’t!

My earlier homeschool table looked a bit like a medieval feast - with HUGE dishes of steaming hot math problems, and well-cooked portions of language arts. Since I’ve never been one to be a minimalist in the food area, so I also heaped on the delectable side dishes of leafy green science covered with thick creamy sauces of history and geography. Not to mention a variety of spicy additions to the table like Spanish, Latin, and Greek - just to flavor it all.  Of course, no one would want to miss out on any of the delicious desserts of delight-driven unit studies! There was so much to choose from, and I didn’t want to miss any of it!

All this curriculum consumption left my students sitting at our homeschool table, stuffed like a Christmas goose but not savoring a single bite! The table was full, and the meal was certainly “meaty”. A single glance at their faces told me that this wasn’t what they were hungry for!

Over time, our homeschool table evolved into more of a fast-food buffet at the kitchen counter during their high school days.  We threw out some quickly microwaved math with online grading, some co-op concocted literary analysis, and generous helpings of college dual credit classes.  We ate it while on the run to activities, sports, and part-time jobs.  We forgot how to even set the table and family meals gathered sitting down all together became a distant memory.

Lately, we’ve been re-discovering the delights of homeschooling (and eating) together.  But, not with super-sized portions, the hurry, and the over laden table.  Instead, we are learning to put a little less on our plates, while we linger a little longer and enjoy the company. 

We’re also tuning into what each of our children really need to have to function at their prime.  For instance, if I eat a bunch of carbs and sugar - I’m a complete mess.  Likewise, not all our children need to learn the same things at the same time.  Some students may be ready for academic challenges, but some may benefit more from time spent developing deep family connections. It’s the beauty of the homeschool table, we get to choose what is best for them to consume! 

We are re-learning how to set the table in our learning as well.  We are discovering the delight of days spent together with a less hurried approach. We are taking turns preparing and cooking the meals - and everyone is learning new life, kitchen, and study skills as we do it! 

We are making wiser choices with which subjects satisfy without leaving us stuffed. We streamlined our school schedule to make sure we are meeting our educational and our emotional needs.  We have been realizing that we can experiment with different textures and flavors of learning, like internships and building projects with true satisfaction. We are consuming less and savoring each bite more. 

In homeschooling, and in life, sometimes LESS is MORE.  This is what we have been discovering lately around our table, and aren’t most of the best lessons in life learned around a table?

Blessings,

Renita

 

“Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.” - Isaiah 55:2

20 Years Later...

20 Years Later… 

We are starting school today… yes, it’s a late start for most homeschoolers. I’m sipping my coffee and reflecting over the past 20 years of homeschooling my eight children as I let my sleepy teenagers wake up a bit slower (minus the alarm clock.)


This journey has definitely been the most easy, most difficult, most thrilling, most depressing, and the most unexpectedly beautiful adventure! What an invitation from God, I’m so glad I accepted it. And all along the journey I have been privileged to have gotten a front-row window seat.


In my early 20’s I wasn’t on the path to motherhood and homeschooling certainly was the furthest thing from my mind. My “career” was my plan. But then God gave me the “desires of my heart” before I even realized what they were! Homeschooling my children came into focus and became a reality.


We started out with nothing more than a sweet, eager-faced little towhead boy. With his newly sharpened pencil, he eagerly waited for me at a re-purposed, hand-me-down end table with a little stool in our unfinished basement and a handful of books. While we read and played together, I discovered a great and unexpected pleasure in teaching this little person whom I loved most in the whole world. I jumped wholeheartedly into the joy of teaching him and vowed I’d never share that joy with some unknown schoolteacher down the street.


As we ventured along this path, our family kept adding a new student every couple of years. One of my first big homeschool purchases was my “school table” – a real, school-quality, blue table with adjustable legs that we could raise and lower. I got quite a workout over the years doing deep squats near that table every day! I vividly remember sitting at that very table with my older three children and thinking, “Someday… all these chairs will be filled with my kiddos, and God wants ME to teach all of them!” It was hugely intimidating yet quite exciting, too!


We outgrew the table pretty quickly. I knew I was in over my head and would need divine intervention to complete this monumental task! I asked God to show up and help me do this…since it had been His idea from the beginning! I kept that table for many years, it was always a symbol of God’s provision for me: He called me to this job, and He showed up day after day to help me.


Our journey took us through several family moves to several different states. We participated in co-ops and didn’t participate in co-ops. We played sports, did music lessons and orchestras, joined theater groups, and drove to hundreds of soccer practices and ballet lessons–and didn’t do all that, too. We had seasons with church activities and programs and seasons without.


We prioritized the Word of God. We memorized scripture (thank you - Awana and the Bible Bee!) We read about our heroes with biographies about Christian missionaries from all over the globe. (My second big purchase was every YWAM Benge Christian Heroes Then & Now series ever printed!) We LOVED reading them out loud as a family and listening to them on road trips. They built an incredible shared heritage between the kids and us and gave all of us a passion for the world and godly heroes to look up to. We prayed over countries and Unreached People Groups. We studied worldview and apologetics together and learned about the world God so loves.


We spent endless hours lost in great books and read-alouds together –The Wingfeather Saga and the Mysterious Benedict Society series were a few favorites. Our family has many hysterical inside jokes that come from the pages of the books we shared together. Almost all my favorite homeschool memories contain references to the books we read.


We explored the wonders of science together. We watched as tadpoles turned into frogs (that lived for 7 YEARS!) We marveled at our caterpillars flying away as butterflies. We collected every type of stick, pinecone, stone and bird nest we could find! We took countless nature center and science museum field trips and practically grew up at the zoo. We did experiments (including my personal favorite…the dissections!) together at the kitchen table and in classes at coop together with our friends.


We learned about the world while we cooked the craziest concoctions, (ever tried Pilgrim Swill?) and eagerly tasted food from all over the world (Vegemite anyone?). Our home was filled with maps and globes. For many years we had maps on the kitchen table under clear tablecloths. Our favorite school time snacks came from our “Universal Yums” boxes as we tried treats from different countries.


We ventured into high school, eager to prove we had done this homeschooling thing well. We mastered dual credit college courses, and rigorous study, classic literature analysis papers and the ACT. We did all the “Bonus” questions, and extra credit assignments and we had years we didn’t even finish the book!


I discovered I had a passion for teaching– both at home, and in a co-op setting. We learned to manage our time (the kids and me!) by doing schoolwork, having part-time jobs and balancing our commitments and responsibilities. We survived Driver’s Ed (Only a few more to go…) We deepened our faith and understanding by taking the Perspectives of the World Christian Movement course together. We went on mission trips and learned to serve others. And we learned to bravely step off the fast track and customize their education to the person God created them to be with new and varied learning opportunities.


We experienced health issues and came face-to-face with cancer, twice. We suffered deep tragedy and we wrestled with trusting in the goodness of God. We learned how truly faithful God is. We experienced beauty for ashes and thrilling new beginnings.


We came to the end of the school years for my first born (that seemed would never end) and I had the great joy to hand my son a high school diploma. I was an absolute emotional mess as I graduated Sam, my always eager student, in a full cap & gown ceremony with all the pomp and circumstance (How do we parents ever survive the Senior slide show?)


More years passed and more graduations have taken place. I’ve loved seeing each of them fly high beyond our homeschool! So much is happening now with all of them and some are launching into adulting from home which has had some amazing lessons, blessings and opportunities for all of us! My kiddos joke that I get more relaxed with each child… the last one will probably have a diploma thrown out the window at them as I speed off in my much-dreamed-about red convertible… and a laugh…a wild crazy laugh!) Homeschooling will make you lose your mind at times!


These past 20 years have taught me so much more than I ever dreamed. Sometimes I believe God’s direction to homeschool my children may have actually been more about my learning than theirs. There are amazing and abundant blessings that came with this decision! I have learned that I need to be constantly reliant on the Lord for each and every step along this path. Each new season requires His fresh guidance for the twists and turns ahead that only He knows are necessary for the wonders He wants to bring. I need to be truly as dependent on His leading today as I was in that first uncertain day.


This gift of TIME with my children is the most precious gift I’ve ever been given. I had time to get to know them, time experience life with them, time to learn together, time to grow in knowing God together, time to get to know and love on many people together and time to catch a glimpse of the amazing people God designed them to be.

I was given an invitation to participate in this great work to the very end of the journey–their graduation from High School and beyond! I’m so incredibly grateful! I pray that you will accept the invitation too!

Blessings,

Renita 

All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace. - Isaiah 54:13

Two Trains

 TWO TRAINS

Where are you Going?

I’m probably going to be unpopular stating this opinion, but I have learned it from personal experience, so hear me out…

Maybe you do NOT need to do AP, Honors, or dual credit college courses while in high school. Whew… I said it, after graduating five students from our homeschool (they were all homeschooled K-12 and all earned college credits on their transcripts).

Close your eyes and imagine with me that you are getting on a train. You purchase your ticket and sit down to enjoy the scenery. BUT you forgot to check the train’s destination.

You wanted the “Scenic Train of Wisdom” that took the beautiful route–the one including stunning views and a delightful table set before you, complete with tea and scones as you gazed out the windows. You wanted to marvel at the company, enjoy the conversations, and simply soak it all in.

Instead, you accidentally purchased a seat on the “High-Speed Bullet Train of Knowledge”. You sat down, buckled up and took off. There’s no chance to see the sights as they whiz by, no time for a restful meal, no deep conversations. It’s just zoom to the destination in the most efficient and speedy way on the pre-determined train schedule.

This is what dual credit in high school was like for us. Sure, we were able to earn college credit in an efficient way and my children were certainly capable of doing the course work. But I should have remembered something I always say… “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” I forgot to check which train we took a seat on and the destination this ticket would take us to.

The “High-Speed Bullet Train of Knowledge” got them to college quicker, for sure. But we missed the scenery! We didn’t have time to taste the tea or enjoy the conversations on the ever-faster speeding pace. They earned college credit and stuck to the pre-determined schedule (which dictated our family schedule as well). My children finished their degrees and got off the faster train only to discover that they really didn’t know where they were. They arrived at the destination early but, they missed a whole lot along the journey that cannot be revisited. They were in the rush to get to that “somewhere” they couldn’t quite define. They had empty suitcases without the souvenirs and treasures they should have collected along the way. They had their college degrees in hand, yes, but they lacked much of the real-life wisdom and experiences that they could have had.

The slower “Scenic Train of Wisdom” takes a more enjoyable route. This train’s schedule allows for multiple stops along the way and offers the time needed to experience and engage in the opportunities that present themselves. You are even allowed to stop this train and get off to explore without disrupting the ever-demanding schedule. There is an open invitation to take side journeys like mission trips, back-yard building projects, and serving opportunities in all shapes and sizes. Not only that, but you can also collect precious souvenirs along the way–souvenirs like valuable lessons and skills learned while serving others and the real life experiences that will help put knowledge into practice, along with the abundant blessing of time to develop an ever-deepening understanding of who God is.

This has really gotten me thinking about these two trains. I know it’s very popular to grab a ticket on the “High-Speed Bullet Train of Knowledge” and get a head start on college, but, maybe what our children will miss out on isn’t worth the price of admission.

HIGH SCHOOL YEARS ARE THE BEST TIME TO HOMESCHOOL! The four short High School years are full of scenery we don’t want to miss. We finally get to relax from some of the pressure of teaching those labor-intensive basics and get to sit back to taste the depths of what our children know. We get to share real-life experiences together–without car seats, strollers and diaper bags! We get to enjoy deep conversations (usually late at night) as we get to really know WHO they are becoming while we listen to their hearts. These years are truly filled with WONDER! The “Scenic Train of Wisdom” has treasures we should consider carefully before we trade them for a couple more college credits.

The slower “Scenic Train of Wisdom” also gives our children a chance to look around and explore where they really want to go. High school is such a short season, and it can never be replaced. This is the final opportunity to truly taste all the options available and to see which they prefer before getting stuck on the fast track to college which can actually limit their choices long-term. College, on the other hand, doesn’t have a “use-by” date, it can be done any time for the rest of their lives.

I'm praying that before you hop on the homeschool train of high school (and you certainly will want to!) spend some time considering where the destination is heading to before you grab your seat!

Blessings,

Renita

“This is what the LORD says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!” – Jeremiah 6:16

My Homeschool Alarm Clock

 It’s the time of the summer my thoughts start to turn toward our upcoming year.  I’ve finally given up all the guilt from things we didn’t finish and let go of the grand plans I made this time last year!   I’ve slept in, drank my coffee peacefully and completely unwound from the past school year.  Now, my internal homeschool alarm clock has started to ring to remind me to start looking ahead to our next year… or not?

 

I’m going into my 20th year of homeschooling (yep… with 5 more years to go) I feel like I’m having an “awakening” on our homeschool path.  I know, I should have this down already, right? I’ve graduated half of my students - all with near perfect GPA’s, beautifully curated transcripts, and even hefty college scholarships. Yet…I’m feeling the nudges from the Lord that a new and different plan is waiting for me around the bend. Strange, I know.

 

But these 20 years have taught me to listen to that “still small voice” and to follow where HIS path leads instead of my own understanding. So, instead of my usual attempts to get a running start to “planning season” for our homeschool year, I’m lingering in my summer-relaxed mode for at least a few more weeks.

 

Maybe some of you need a “thumbs up” to linger awhile longer as well.  It’s OKAY, maybe even BENEFICIAL to take a pause from the curriculum search and spend some time sipping coffee on your porch swing (or hammock) with a book you’ve been “saving” for a time when you have some time (Please - I can’t be the only one that does this!). Maybe you need another unscheduled day at home, or an impromptu hike or maybe even a swim (ocean, lake, river… even just the kiddie pool!)  Maybe the closest thing to school or planning you need is a few more chapters of your read aloud (remember… the one you didn’t finish) on the trampoline or the grassy spot under the tree at the local park?

 

I’m not sure why I feel the compulsion to SLOW down this summer.  Maybe it’s the realization of how few summers we really have in this season of parenting.  These summer days are limited editions, they don’t last forever, and they are impossible to replace!  I do know I want to savor them… not rush on to the next thing.

 

So mommas, here is your permission slip to hit snooze on that homeschool alarm clock!  Take some time to savor these final weeks of summer guilt-free with the amazing crew the Lord has gifted you with.  I dare you to jump in the water with your kids, eat the ice cream cones together, and wait to worry about the upcoming year.  The Lord has already gone before you, and he will show you the way you should go… at the proper time.

 

Blessings,

Renita

Rebels Unite!

 

Rebels Unite!

I saw this meme with this comment “Join the insurgency of the beautiful, good, and true.” I loved it! I’ve always been a bit of a rebel, but little did I know that is exactly what God wanted for me all along.  (Sorry Mom & Dad…) Insurgency can be defined as “an active revolt or uprising.” Sounds exactly like what we need today. Let’s start this insurgency of beauty, goodness and truth, and let the revolution begin in our homes and homeschools! How can we bring this uprising to life?  Here’s a couple of thoughts… Find the beautiful.  We need beauty, it’s transformative. Have you shown your children how to seek out and appreciate beauty?  It’s literally all around us, all the time.  We just need open eyes to see.  This requires intentional pauses (yes, that means we need to slow down!).  I challenge you to look around you right now… name something beautiful you see.  Is it outside in nature? Is it in the way light moves through your windows? Is it your favorite soft blanket, or coffee cup?  Tell your children what you find beautiful, show them.  I can almost guarantee - if you think it’s beautiful, they will too. Bring goodness.   Goodness has synonyms like “kindness, generosity or beneficial”. What could happen if a wave of kindness started spreading out from our homes?  It could change the world! Simple acts of kindness can completely change your day, and may I remind you… your children are watching and learning from you. When is the last time you smiled at a clerk and genuinely asked them how their day was going? Or let someone go ahead of you in the long check-out lane? Once again, opportunities are all around us if we a simply aware.  How about radical acts of generosity in the face of rising prices, inflation and shortages?  How could you share what you have and multiply your blessing?  It can be as simple as a batch of cookies shared with a neighbor (by the way, do you know their names?), or it could be much larger like sharing your time and resources with another struggling family. Could this infusion of goodness be beneficial to us? You betcha! (opps… my Minnesotan is showing again.) Prioritize the focus on the TRUTH in your daily life and in your homeschool lessons.  Have we helped our children recognize what is true from what is “almost true”? Our society has become inundated with lies, do we recognize them? This is where a constant study of the Bible and Apologetics will serve your family well and give them solid ground to take a stand on.  Don’t be tempted to assume that you have “covered” it before and that means that they have learned it. (Or that a weekly visit to church will be enough.)  We need a full immersion in truth! Keep repeating Bible and Apologetics lessons, every year, until you see the fruit of it in your life and your student’s lives.  We need daily inoculations of beauty, goodness and truth in our homes and homeschools and we must train our families to fearlessly pursue them! “I am doing a great work. I can't come down…” Nehemiah 6:3 Blessings, Renita