We have sixteen kids. Yes, you read it correctly, sixteen. Trust me, I never planned to do this, really!
Our son recently got married. (It was beautiful!) As I looked at the big wedding party, mostly made up of his siblings, I realized what a gift they are to each other!
Long ago, silly younger me thought she’d have one (maybe two) children. She’d happily send them off to daycare and continue the pursuit of her “important” career. I bet God was laughing at me, I know He has a great sense of humor!
Well, much of those “important” career thoughts began to change the moment I held my first son and looked at those innocent eyes. I think I started to glimpse the most important career I’d ever have the privilege to participate in… raising my children.
Fast forward a few years and a few more sons, and I was in what I like to call my “wrestling match” phase with God. I was still unsure of His plan and still trying to hold onto my own plans. I had three sons and our first daughter (four kids, who would have thought…). I was well aware of my inadequacies as a mother. I was way out of my league already. Certainly, it couldn’t be in their best interest for me to have MORE. I argued all my best points with the Lord. But HE won our wrestling match with the arrival of another positive pregnancy test. I stopped arguing and said, “Yes, Lord” to all the blessings He wanted to give us. And I made Him promise to show up and help since all of this was HIS idea anyway!
My “yes” became eight amazing humans! Four boys and four girls (so many people say, “How perfect, did you plan it that way?”) Ha! I didn’t have a clue, and I could have never even imagined! I know you’re wondering how did eight turn into sixteen? Well, after tragedy struck our family (that’s a different post). The LORD expanded my vision again and brought an amazing man, also with eight children into our lives. Believe me, God’s plan always involves multiplication!
Back to the wedding…. Seeing all of them standing together made me realize a few things I want to share about the blessing found in having more children.
They are never alone or lonely.
Loneliness is a massive issue in today’s society. People have become isolated from real-time, face-to-face, one-on-one relationships and live instead in online communities while feeling completely alone.
I can testify a cure for loneliness is sharing a room with 3-4 of your built-in best friends. In fact, I think some alone time is more of an issue than loneliness in our family!
But, joking aside -“God sets the lonely in families…” Psalm 68:6. I think much of the loneliness found today could be cured by expanding families. Now, before you start to object, let me suggest that there are other ways to expand your family than another positive pregnancy test. We have intentionally added many “others” to our clan - step-siblings, good friends who feel like family, and even strangers we have adopted who have become part of our family.
Be open to giving God your “yes” - See what He does!
They have built-in support and accountability partners.
One of my pastors used to say, “No one is less impressed by you than your siblings.” Isn’t that the truth?
My kiddos unashamedly tell each other the “truth”. When one is being less than kind, another one of them calls them to account for it. When one of them has an achievement worth celebrating, guess who are the first ones cheering?
We need people in our lives who will be our greatest support, and we need real voices to tell us when we are missing the mark. No one does that better than a sibling who has known you in all your phases (oh my, remember junior high!) and isn’t fooled by the persona you want others to believe. They really know you and love you anyway, even when they would rather ship you off to live somewhere else!
There is power in the numbers.
My family loves the movie Cheaper by the Dozen (of course we do!). Especially the scene where the siblings take out the bully who was attacking one of the younger siblings.
There is power in having people who have your back. I have seen my children want to tear each other apart, only to come together as a FORCE when an attack has come from the outside.
Though multiple cross-country moves, unimaginable losses, big transitions, new relationships, heartbreak, and celebrations, the bond that they shared has been a testimony to the goodness of God.
I believe God has given them each other as part of His greater plan. Foster that spirit in your kiddos, help protect the special gift that they are to each other. Do all that you can to encourage them to love each other.
As I watched the clean-up commence after the wedding, I saw, once again, how wonderful it is to have the power of multiplication at work. The adage, “Many hands make light work,” certainly applies to a big family. With everyone pitching in, big tasks get accomplished in no time.
Don’t let those seemingly endless days of diapers, car seats, countless pb & j sandwiches, and phonics lessons over and over… intimidate you. Those intense times are just a short season. There are massive blessings ahead!
Your nest is not empty.
The season of child raising is a fairly short one; ask any older person–it flies by in the blink of an eye. If we had stopped with just a few children, we’d already be on to “retirement” trying to figure out the best way to entertain ourselves.
I’m grateful we are still in the game (especially at our age!), still raising world changers, and still actively pursuing God’s plan for our family.
I have endless conversations with smart, funny, godly growing adults that challenge me to be a better person. They even tell me how to best live my life and make smart decisions.. .(though they’ve never lived an ounce where they are giving expert advice. There are people to give me a ride anywhere I want to go and countless home-cooked dinners (by someone who cooks much better than I do). Not to mention the joyous celebrations to share together as more family is added to our number! (Grandkids are coming…)
“Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest
if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9
I hope I can be used to encourage you to grow your family. Let God show you His plan, and be bold enough to believe Him!
Blessings,
Renita
